All of us need to love and to be loved.
Loving animals is an important part of being human. As we develop bonds of love and affection we become attached to that one. When we lose one we love, we grieve.
So grief is a normal reaction to the loss of someone or something to which a person is strongly attached. The intensity of grief is dependent on the degree of attachment, the type of relationship, the circumstances of the death, the personality and the social support of the person suffering the loss. (The Centre for Grief Education).
Only you can know what this pet meant to you. If they have been an important part of your life, then it is normal to grieve when they die.
The Human-Animal Bond
We humans have the capacity to engage in many relationships at the same time, including relationships with animals. A strong bond can exist between humans and animals with this relationships bringing joy to both the human and the animal.
Animals have a way of loving unconditionally. They are faithful, loyal and often very forgiving of our mistakes and failures.
This bond can be strong for a variety of reasons. You may have had more daily contact with your pet than with people, so their death leaves a hole in your life which needs to be acknowledged. (Barbara Meyers, 2002)
Responses to Loss and Grief
Reactions to grief can be manifested through feelings, some of which might be
- feelings of anxiety, fear, sadness, anger, guilt;
- thoughts, such as disbelief, confusion, preoccupation;
- physical reactions like sleep disturbances, empty sensation in stomach, breathlessness or tightness in the chest;
- behaviour such as crying, sighing, hyperactivity, inability to concentrate, social withdrawal.
These are only some of the ways that grief is experienced.
Is the grief of pet loss different to other losses?
Often, the loss of a pet is disregarded by others as unimportant. But losing a pet can be very significant and the grief can be as intense as or greater than when a person dies.
The problem is that it is often not openly acknowledged, publicly mourned or socially supported. Work colleagues, friends or even relatives can minimize or even laugh at the loss of a pet. The death of a pet can stir up previous grief.
For some people, the capacity that pets have for unconditional love and faithfulness has provided an experience of love not matched by humans.
Support is available...
The Pets & People - Pet Loss Support Network was founded by Dr Micheal O’Donoghue and Penny Carroll to provide a supportive process to help people through the grief often experienced through the loss of a companion animal.
Visit our website for...
- Pet Loss & Grief counsellors
- Resourses for grieving pet owners
- A support network for pet loss
When someone is grieving it can be difficult to find the right words...
A sympathy card with the numbers of approved, qualified and highly experienced pet loss counsellors could be the best gift your grieving friend or client ever receives.